Would anyone like my three year old....

As I type this, my brilliant and beautiful three year old in going on her 30th minute of continuous screaming. Now, if she were a normally content child, I would be prompted to maybe call the pediatrician out of concern, or make some futile attempts to calm her, but she is NOT a normally content child. In actuality she is quite the cantankerous little ball of wild hair and funny quotes and today is no different. To the outsider, Bijou seems to be a very bright and energetic little girl with lots to say. But behind closed doors (be it the doors of our house, or our van or a public bathroom) the evil, wild eyed monster comes out. She screams and screams and scream AND SCREAMS, to the point of making us all want to run screaming in horror to a quiet corner to rock back and forth and suck our thumbs for comfort. Any little thing can set her off. Most recently (and my least favorite part of spring/summer) is her flip flops and their unhealthy relationship with gravity. Every car trip is punctuated at some point or another with the wails of, "Somebody get my SSSHHHHHOOOOEEEEEE! My shoe fell OOOOOFFFFFF! MMMMMOOOMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYY, nobody is getting my shoe! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!" But it's not just her shoes. It's any and EVERYthing. She needs to be in control and if she's not....look out. Just for kicks and giggles, I thought I'd share some past meltdown causes. Bear in mind that these are not, I repeat, NOT exaggerations. These are all actual causes for meltdowns.

1. Aforementioned flip flop fall off (daily).
2. Shoelaces touching the ground. Not untied, just touching the ground. Usually with this one, I get, "Mommy, you need to tie them better. Tie them better mommy, they're not tied good enough"
3. Socks being put on crooked
4. Wanting a peanut butter sandwich and then, gasp, getting one!
5. Not being able to have donuts for dinner.
6. Her sleeping older sister "touching her". This one was truly ridiculous because she woke up, came in our room, we sent her back to bed and two seconds later she was screaming that Ashni was touching her. So, basically, she went and got back into bed next to Ashni and pitched a fit that she was touching Ashni.
7. I swear, SWEAR, that she cried for ten minutes one afternoon because she was drinking all of her own juice! "I'M DRINKING IT ALL, MOMMY!!!! I DON'T WANT TO DRINK IT ALLLLL!"
8. Mommy can't make Elmo appear on TV on demand. Now we generally don't turn on the TV during the week while the kids are up, but on occasion my mom will let the little two watch Sesame Street. So apparently we should be able to make Elmo materialize on the screen on demand.
9. And I quote, "Zion is crying and it MY turn to cry!"
10. Not being able to close her older sister in the van door.

I could probably go on, but I think you get the picture...
Her bedroom has grown quiet, which can only mean that she tired herself out and gone to sleep. Sweet sleep, the comfort of us all. Maybe she will wake up a newer, happier version of herself or maybe she will sleep all night and we'll start all over again tomorrow. But while she's quiet and looks SO angelic, would anyone like to give my three year old a good home???